Labels are awesome. They are, for all intents and purposes of this blog, a way that we define ourselves to make it easier for us and for others to understand who we are. They help us quickly get across who we are in conversations, and can be self-given, or given to us by others. For that reason, labels can be good and bad. They can be things we want, or things that we hate and would never want to be associated with. They can be false, or they can be glorified. They can help and they can hurt. But perhaps the biggest issue, is the complexity of giving up a label, or changing a label, or knowing that a label no longer fits us but being unsure of how to get out of it, scared to shed that layer of ourselves. If only labels were as easy as those stickers that we wear to networking events that say "Hi, my name is..." Those fall off before we even make it home usually.
Labels, essentially, are the words that come after "I am". They can be extremely basic in nature: I am female. I am straight. I am a Pajan. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a girlfriend. I am a home-owner. They can be job descriptive: I am a yoga teacher. I am a bartender. I am a blogger. I am a business owner. I am Solshine Strands. They can be emotionally or physically descriptive labels, often given by others: I am calm. I am an introvert. I am healthy. I am strong. I am kind. I am happy. And they can be destructive: I am fat. I am ugly. I am lazy. I am a quitter. I am a loser. I am a loner. I am forever-single. I am unwanted. Labels run the spectrum from good to bad, flexible to fixed. They can serve us and they can destroy us because we become attached to these labels. And, when we want to change labels, or alter a label, we often feel stuck, unable to do so, scared and fearful that we don't deserve the label, or are just faking it.
Think about when you did something new, like tried running (something we all have tried one time or another). I ran for a few months, trying to build stamina and force myself to like it. Because I was slow, and often walked part of my route, and because I kind of hated it, and because I'd never actually run a 5k or a half or a full marathon, I never said the words I am a runner. I felt I was an imposter. I was a fake. A fraud. A phony. I didn't earn that title. That label "runner", it was reserved for the people that could run a mile without feeling like they were going to die. It was for the friends on Facebook that posted pictures of themselves wrapped in what looks like tin foil after the Pittsburgh marathon. It was for the people that had real running shoes, and a playlist to amp them up, and a goal that was more than "just make it through one mile". It wasn't for me. But that was a lie. I was running - so I'm pretty sure that makes me a runner (or made me a runner - I don't run anymore ha). As a yoga teacher, I often hear people saying to me "well, I can't do a headstand, so I'm not like 'a real yogi'". False - do you go to yoga, or practice some form of yoga at home? Yes? Then you are a yogi. You are not a fake. You are not a phony. You are a yogi. But you understand - you get that labels can be tricky. Sometimes we aren't sure how to go about creating a new one. We are scared that others will see us as imposters, or failures.
Fear of failing, or fear of being seen as a fake. How often have you wanted to try something new and been terrified that people would say "who the hell does he/she think they are?! They can't possibly do that!" Call it the old grade-school cafeteria fear, or call it whatever you want, but most of us are still living in that mentality that we can't be what we want to be because someone might mock us. Someone might call us out in front of the entire cafeteria, and reveal us for who we "really" are: a fake runner, a girl whose thighs are rubbing together as she slowly jogs her way down the neighborhood, eyes fixed on the stop sign that's she's promised herself she'd get to before she walks, as the real runner flies by with ease, sweat falling from her toned legs, sporting actual running shorts. We don't want that. We don't want our social-media society to laugh behind their computers and tell their friends about our new journey, our new label, our new venture. We will do almost anything to not be judged. We will stay with labels that no longer serve us, labels that are often killing us inside, or at the very least keeping us stagnant just to avoid provoking the question "just who does she think she is?".
We'll stay in an unhealthy relationship for fear of being seen as a failure in our marriage or for fear of being seen as single, unwanted, unloved - even if getting out of that relationship would save us mentally, or physically. We are scared of what people will think if we make that change, but often we are scared to make a big change, because we are passing judgement on ourselves. We are scared to start a new job because we've always been "insert label here". It's scary to go from saying "I am an event planner" to "I am a bartender". What if people think I am dumb, or stupid, or that I don't know how to make a Manhattan? What if people ask me why I am no longer an event planner? What if people think I was fired?! I went through those questions and side note: I didn't know how to make a Manhattan (now I do!). Labels, regardless of if we no longer want them, are scary to change and add. We are taught that longevity in a relationship and a career and a home are noble, honorable, desired. We are taught that length of time is equal to amount of stability. Because of this outdated thinking, we often think that longevity of a label means we are successful. So we hang on to those suckers as long as we can, to our own detriment at times.
Lately, I have been craving a change. I have felt like a snake that is stuck in their old skin. I have been desperately trying to shed this old skin, this old layer, some old labels - but I am scared, fearful of what you will all say. Will you think I failed at Solshine, if I shut down my jewelry-making business? Will you see me as stupid if I decide to no longer sell bracelets? Will you laugh if I tell you that my heart lies with animals, and wanting to help them? Will you think I am crazy when I start a pet-sitting and dog-walking business? Will you? Tell me. Because I think my own fears of what you will say are worse than what you may actually say. But there it is. There, I've said it. Solshine Strands is, WAS, everything I needed. It was real. It was heartfelt. It was my saving grace in a time when I had very little. It taught me what to do - but more importantly, it taught me what I didn't know, and needed to learn, in order to run a successful business. It schooled me in life and it gave me purpose. It was a good idea, one I never meant to even create. Every strand was, and still is, made with love. But, it is no longer where my heart lies. It had flaws from the start, kinks that I am forever working to fix, from ignorance in beginning a real live business. My brain has been elsewhere, my marketing has been shoddy, my heart has been on to the next. So it is time. In the coming month, I will sell off my inventory, running specials soon, to liquidate inventory and change directions. My biggest fear is that you will think I have failed. But my intuition - my heart - tells me that it is time. I cannot be everything, and some labels have to go in order to pave the way for new. And pave the way is just what Solshine did.
Having some experience in opening an LLC, and the behind-the-scenes business stuff that goes along with that all, has paved the way for me to focus my attention on creating my new venture: taking care of the four-legged fur balls in the world. For my entire life I have been rescuing animals from baby birds infected with worms (sorry Mom!), rabbits with broken legs, cats with no homes, and dogs who've been kicked out of their family for misbehaving - I have helped every one that has allowed me to bring them into my home (sometimes a little bit against their will at first - sorry fur babes, it's for your own good!). At a young age, I was on a first name basis with the people at the wildlife rescue league, and into adult hood I served as a volunteer at the animal shelter, spending hours with animals that were not my own. My only rule before each day at the shelter was that I had to ensure my own pets were happily loved on and exercised before I went and did the same for the fur balls in the shelter. Some of you know that I quit my full time, corporate job, because leaving Ryley (my golden retriever) at home for 13 hours a day felt wrong. But what about all those people who cannot quit their jobs for their pets? There's got to be some sane people - people who don't just jump ship because of their four legged family members. How could I serve them? And what about the pets that were special, like my own. "Special" in that they make themselves sick with anxiety when I go on vacation and put them in a kennel (a nice kennel, at that!). What about the animals that are elderly, like my Ryleygirl, who is sensitive to loud noises and feels over stimulated by multiple dogs at kennels? What about the cats that give themselves urinary tract infections at the mere thought of being placed in a car to be taken care of by a family member while their humans are on vacation? Are there other dogs, like Ryley, that have a fear of walking on pavement and have to be taken to a trail in the woods, away from cars and other dogs? My gut tells me there are animals like my own and that there are other humans just like me. Humans that look into those puppy and kitty eyes each day as they close the door for work, remorseful and sometimes regretful that they will be gone for so long - guilt-ridden when they have to ask family or a neighbor to help them let their dogs out, or feed their cats. Humans that avoid vacations or long trips because they have no one to look after their beloved four legged family members. Humans that come home from said long day to a maniacal animal that is SO EXCITED to see them, but all they want to do is sit on the couch and space out - not walk the dog a couple miles (it's ok to admit that. All pet owners feel that way some day or another.) Humans with pets that mean everything to them but humans with lives that are required to pay the bills and live. Surely, I am not the only one, right?
So here I go. (Deep breath) I am in the beginning phases of creating my service-offerings, my schedule and pricing, and creating my website for my pet sitting/dog walking business. I am in the process of acquiring insurance for my business, and learning techniques to better serve you and your pets. I am moving forward with an idea that feels exciting and a little scary! My labels are changing and maybe you will ask yourself just who I think I am to take off my old label and make this new one, but that's ok. Really all I hope is that you'll think about me as you book your vacation or leave for an extra long day at work, and need someone to look after your pet. But first - I need your help. In order to truly serve you and your pets in the absolute best way possible, I would love if you would give me 5 minutes of your time and fill out this survey, jut by clicking the link below. Maybe I will find that this is not something that I should move forward with because there is no need, or maybe I will find just the opposite. Maybe I will fail in that I won't gain enough customers to make this a full-time thing. Or maybe I will just be able to do what I really want: to give love and play time to your pets, while giving peace of mind to you, their humans. Maybe you will mock, maybe you will laugh, maybe you will think I'm crazy, maybe you will think this is as unglamorous as can be. But maybe is no place to live for me. Thank you in advance for your help. I have an incredible support system of people that build me up so high I could die from the fall if they weren't there to catch me, but I need some feedback from my target demographic - the people with pets. So to you, I say thank you in advance for reading this and taking my survey, at the link below.
5 Minute Survey that will help me SO much!!
