Read When Your World is Falling Apart

There are moments in life that don't skip over any of us. The moments when life stops and we're sure that we can't make it. The moments when bad news comes in one form or another - impending, or actually happening. Sometimes the threat is worse than the event. The anticipation, the waiting for the other shoe to drop, the health to fail, the marriage to end, the bank to call, the creditors to knock, the house to foreclose - the wait is worse. Or even worse it often feels, when we have so much to be happy for, yet we cannot find a way out of the dark. We're left uttering words like, I cannot do this. I won't make it. I don't know how I'll keep it together. I'm going to break. I'm going to fall. I just can't. There's no way. But there is. And you will. And you are.

Your chest is rising. Your chest is falling. Your heart is beating. Your eyes are opening. You may not feel like you can do this. You may not feel like you will survive the fallout. You may wonder if this is the end. But it's not. And while I hate the saying "you've survived 100% of your worst days ever", it's true. You have a success rate of 100% of handling all that life throws your way. There are no points for grace. There is no A+ for looking good while surviving. There is no score-card tallying how well you're doing. There is only one thing that matters - that you are doing this. You are making it. You are surviving, and you will continue to. 

You don't need to look like that person you know who went through something similar. You do not need to make beauty out of darkness. You don't even have to look for the light in the darkest of days. You need only to breathe. There is no guide. There is no roadmap. You owe no one an explanation. You are expected to give no apologies for looking, or acting, or feeling the way you are. You need only to breathe.

Your guilt is unwarranted. Your feeling bad for feeling bad will only add insult to injury. Your apologies will fall on deaf ears anyway. Your covering up and shrinking and hiding and hoping to go unnoticed will only call attention to yourself. Your judgement from yourself, to yourself, about yourself, will only drain you of the energy needed to survive.

So live. And breathe. And feel. And cry. And cope. And clutch your chest. And feel your heart beat. And quiet the voice. And listen to the breath. And give yourself a little credit for surviving (even when it feels anything but), passing no judgement on whether your feelings are what they are "supposed to be" in this moment, on this day, in this time frame, for this reason. Stop resisting. This is happening and you.are.surviving. And that is all that you have to do right now. You will find a way. You always do. You always have.

Tomorrow will come and the sun will rise and your heart will beat, and you will be one day stronger. And it may not feel like a lot, and your problems may not be solved, but survival is half the battle. And there is strength in numbers. And life will get better when you least expect it. Not because your situation changed. But because you are surviving. And you will know when the time is right. And you will catch yourself doing that thing that you forgot how to do. You will smile, or you will laugh, or you will lay down your hurt accidentally, and feel lighter for just a moment. And it is in those tiny, quick, often fleeting moments, that you will remind yourself - that you MUST remind yourself - that things are changing, and that you have - and that you always will - survive this.