Sometimes it's OK to Not be OK

Photo Credit: Eva Lin Photography

My girl. My Ryleygirl. My fur ball, my child, my little one, my baby girl. She found me in the dead of winter, wandering around in search of food, icicles hanging from her fur, and has been a staple in my life ever since then - literally keeping me together through all kinds of things. She gave me purpose when I quit my job, at a time when my marriage was falling apart without me having conscious knowledge of it. I woke every morning feeling lonely and called her onto the bed, when my then-husband was away on business trips for long periods of time, and we'd snuggle and I'd sing to her, and I would thank God out loud for her in those moments. She carried me through my divorce, and the period of intense sadness and depression after I found myself alone, without an income, and single for the first time in years. I'd call her onto my sister's bed in my parent's basement where I stayed, as I struggled to keep the sobbing from beginning every morning as I wandered what would become of our lives. She'd snuggle me and sniff my tears because she's never licked anyone's face since the day I got her, and she'd lay there with me, fur soaked in tears and I thanked God for her outloud for her in those moments. She became my companion and roommate as I moved us into a new place, my very first time living alone, without parents or human roomies or significant others, nervous to take on the bills all by myself. I'd call her onto my bed each morning as I woke up at 4:30am for work, sadness coming from her eyes as she knew I was leaving for another 12+ hours for work, me telling her I'd be back before she knew it, knowing it would be a long day for us both, and I thanked God for her in those moments. She faithfully tagged along, without question or fear, promising to protect me, as I purchased my very first home a year ago, making the best out of what very little yard I have for her to utilize (her first time without grass all around). And to this day, I call her onto my bed each morning in this home after my boyfriend leaves for work, and she slowly wakes from her crate, taking a couple tries to get her hips and legs to propel her onto my big bed, and I once again sing to her, and snuggle her, and talk to her about our day of not having to rush out the door for a day job anymore, and I thank God outloud for her in these moments. She is my rock, my companion, my constant, my all and my heart bursts when I look at her face each day wondering how I could ever live without her - a thought that has weighed heavy on me for days now.

10 Ways to Have a Better Morning (from a recovering morning-hater)

Photo Credit: Lovely Day Events Pittsburgh Photography
Makeup: Hope Star Makeup

Mornings suck - well the waking up part does - especially if you're headed to work, or somewhere you really don't want to go. We feel like there's not enough time in the day, we're never at home, we're always rushing somewhere, our bed is super comfy, and we really just don't wanna adult today. So we fight mornings tooth and nail and we generally sabotage our days before they've even begun. If you're wondering what I know about mornings, given that I work nights shifts as a bartender now, trust me - I have had my fair share of early wake ups and experience in this category. Before 2015, I spent 6 years waking up at 4:30am to leave my house by 5:30 to drive an hour to my job. And when I got really dedicated, I began waking at 3:30am to workout before having to get ready at 4:30am for work. So, I have some experience in the morning routine, and I have some things I put into practice to make every morning a little bit better.

4 Winter Mimosa Recipes for Brunch This Weekend

Photo Credit: Lovely Day Pittsburgh Photography

Brunch is literally my favorite meal ever. I love waking up slow on the weekend and eating something awesome that I'd never have time for, or bother putting effort into, on the weekdays. Hello chicken and waffles! Pancakes! Breakfast Quesadillas! You get the point. Brunch is the perfect chance to set the pace of the weekend - chill and fun. You can brunch alone, brunch with your kids, brunch with your boyfriend, or brunch with friends. The options are endless, just like I like my mimosas. And speaking of.....why not spice up the brunch staple with a new recipe this weekend?

Mimosas are easy, in my opinion because you don't have to exactly measure everything - just eyeball the glass and work with that. I don't bother measuring too much because it doesn't seem necessary and I have waffles to eat - I can't be slowed down. I err on the side of 1/3 of the glass filled with champagne, 2/3 OJ and a splash of cherry juice, if I'm making a regular mimosa. I like to keep my recipes for any mimosa as simple as the standard. Tailor the recipe to your liking - and don't stress about the exact measurements, it's brunch after all. If you want more champagne, then add more champagne. It's the weekend - anything goes. Check out the recipes below and mix up your brunch this weekend.

How to Feel Loved When You Are Alone

Photo Credit: Lovely Day Pittsburgh
Makeup: Hope Star Makeup

People are alone for many reasons. People are single because of a break-up, a death, a divorce, or simply because they have chosen to be alone for the time being. Some people are celebrating their single-dom and some people are wallowing, while others are kind of indifferent. Often times though, when you're newly single, for whatever reason - it can feel like the entire world is partnered up and you are at home watching Gilmore Girls, talking to your dog, and eating take-out in the same sweat pants you've worn for 3 days (not that I'm um, talking from experience or anything). Some days being alone is awesome - hello to not sharing the covers, eating whatever you want, doing whatever you want, listening to whatever you want, not putting away your laundry immediately, etc - but sometimes it's just plain overwhelming. Some days it feels like your someone doesn't exist and all you really want is your someone - someone to tell your day to that isn't your Mom or you dog, someone to cry to when you don't want to be strong, someone to cook when you're too tired, someone to steal the covers, someone to make you laugh, someone to sit across the table from, someone to tell you that you are loved.  What do you do though, with that time in between, when your person hasn't arrived and you're sick of wallowing, tired of waiting?

10 Ways to Stop Anxiety and Find Peace

Photo Credit: Lovely Day Pittsburgh Photography

It shows up at the worst of times. It tells us we are inadequate, we can't do it, we can't make it, we should turn around and go home. It's the aching in the chest, the pounding of the heart, the knot in the stomach and the weakness in the body. It stops us from sleep, from events, from love, and from life. It ranges from big to small, from butterflies to dinosaurs. It comes unannounced and stays for too long. Anxiety. It's never wanted, and it's often for seemingly no reason.

As someone who was born with anxiety coursing through my veins, I have about 34 years of experience with all types of anxiety. There's the anxiety over things that I see in the movies that will most likely never happen to me or the ones I love. There's the anxiety that I don't belong where I am. The anxiety that I will never accomplish my dreams. The anxiety that I'm not prepared enough, not good enough, not working hard enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not fit enough, not trying enough, not enough enough. Then there's the anxiety I picked up after my marriage suddenly fell apart. The anxiety of not being aware enough. The anxiety that my world could fall apart without notice. The anxiety that I am unwanted. The anxiety that I could've done more. The anxiety that I made the wrong choice. The anxiety that I am not worth being loved. The anxiety of loss. Oh the anxiety of loss - of being so terrified of losing someone or something that I love so much that I developed weird habits of hanging on to the wrong ones, the wrong jobs, the wrong things in life just to create stability. The anxiety. So much anxiety.

Anxiety finds us triggered by random things - the smell in the air as the leaves turn from green to shades of orange. The turn of the page in our planner as time moves forward and we stand still. The look in someone's eyes as their emotions change. The sound of a song floating through the air. The passing of a storefront on the way to our home. The swipe of our finger on the screen of our phone through pictures and status updates. The silence of the night as darkness weighs heavy on our skin and the clock ticks softly.

For someone that struggles with over-active anxiety, it can be debilitating, mind-numbing, distracting, and all encompassing. There's got to be a way out, there's got to be a stop button, an off switch, an end. Having some experience in this area, I have developed surefire ways to stop my anxiety, or at least distract the butterflies and the dinosaurs until they get bored and retreat. Some I can do from where ever I am, at any time. Some I need to be at home. But they all have one thing in common: they help. Maybe you'll find something in the list below that helps you too.

When Life's Not Perfect

I struggled today to write. I sat here at this computer for 3 hours writing and re-writing. I felt pressure, so I looked for inspiration. I turned on the tv. I turned off the tv. I looked at Pinterest. I X-ed out of Pinterest. I wrote 3 articles. I deleted them. I saved one. I scrapped the rest. I felt worried. I ate food. I talked to Ryley. I did some laundry. I struggled to write today.

You Really Should Be Celebrating

Photo credit: Lovely Day Pittsburgh 

Celebrating. We sometimes do it way too much - for others. And we certainly don't do it enough - for ourselves. We attend parties and events and happy hours and dinners and celebrations for those around us all the time, but rarely do we take a moment to celebrate ourselves. Hard things happen everyday. We conquer fears and overcome obstacles and hit tiny goals for ourselves all the time, but when was the last time you stopped and rewarded yourself for that? 

It's time.