Where I've Been and Where I'm Going

Photo Credit: Eva Lin Photography

Maybe you've noticed my absence on most of social media. Maybe you have not. But apart from a post here or there, I have largely spent time away from Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram and my blog. It's no coincidence that my last post was about a book that I said was changing my life. It truly did. It has. It still very much is. Present over Perfect made me step back - from social media, from my clutter, from the everyday frantic chaos I have created and lived in for the majority of my life and has made me re-evaluate. Re-evaluation of one's life is totally overwhelming, anxiety-inducing, question-producing, and frankly, kind of hard. But it's what I've been doing. On top of it all, I've been unexplainably sick. Sick to my stomach, exhausted, debilitated, nauseous, dizzy, with vertigo-like symptoms that have knocked me out and left me in bed for much longer than I've admitted to anyone - conjuring up memories and similarities of when I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease years ago (one that has been largely in check for so long). To feel a downward spiral in my health lately is emotionally taxing to say the least, on top of the physical symptoms that persist.

So I apologize - for my absence, for my unpredictability and unresponsive nature. Maybe it is no coincidence that I am experiencing these overwhelmingly physical symptoms at the same time that I am experiencing a turn in my life professionally and mentally. My love still remains strong for my wonderful boyfriend, my family, and my friends closest to me - but there needs to be a change in some aspects of my life, and I am in the process of transitioning from one venture to another. No wonder I'm feeling dizzy and exhausted, right?

The Book That Is Changing My Life

I love to read. Instead of long stories, with plot twists and characters and timelines and such, I thoroughly enjoy reading books that will help me in some way. I don't read to escape - although an awesome reason to read - I read to improve some aspect of my life that I know needs some fixing. I love a self help book, or a true story, or a recount of someone's mistakes and how they fixed them so that I too can make changes in my life, business, and work. But, lately, and especially in my world of yoga teaching, there is a surge of books on abstract ideas like manifesting, and attracting, and healing one's self through energy work alone, that I'm not connecting with as I did before. As I've stated in previous posts, I have become disenchanted with this world of coaches and leaders and teachers talking in this realm of intangible because of where I am in my life. I need hard evidence right now. I need the acknowledgement of the sludge and the dirt and the grit of life, and I need to see the triumphs of the changes taking place. I need to not coat words in sugary sweetness in order to make them pretty. I want the stories of women and men who were in the trenches and came out renewed by making real, tangible choices and changes.

What to do When You're Waiting

Waiting kind of sucks, right? Whether we're waiting for the right job to come, or the right guy to show up, or the purpose of your life to become clear, or the perfect home to buy - waiting is the worst. To make matters harder to bear, we feel ready - so ready - for that thing, that person, that path to show up; we've done the work, we've got lots to offer, we just need that missing component. But the thing about these big life happenings, is that we can't force it - but we usually try. I have some experience in waiting - and well, I know it's the worst - so I've had to develop some coping skills because I'm sort of the worst at the wait.

Sometimes it's OK to Not be OK

Photo Credit: Eva Lin Photography

My girl. My Ryleygirl. My fur ball, my child, my little one, my baby girl. She found me in the dead of winter, wandering around in search of food, icicles hanging from her fur, and has been a staple in my life ever since then - literally keeping me together through all kinds of things. She gave me purpose when I quit my job, at a time when my marriage was falling apart without me having conscious knowledge of it. I woke every morning feeling lonely and called her onto the bed, when my then-husband was away on business trips for long periods of time, and we'd snuggle and I'd sing to her, and I would thank God out loud for her in those moments. She carried me through my divorce, and the period of intense sadness and depression after I found myself alone, without an income, and single for the first time in years. I'd call her onto my sister's bed in my parent's basement where I stayed, as I struggled to keep the sobbing from beginning every morning as I wandered what would become of our lives. She'd snuggle me and sniff my tears because she's never licked anyone's face since the day I got her, and she'd lay there with me, fur soaked in tears and I thanked God for her outloud for her in those moments. She became my companion and roommate as I moved us into a new place, my very first time living alone, without parents or human roomies or significant others, nervous to take on the bills all by myself. I'd call her onto my bed each morning as I woke up at 4:30am for work, sadness coming from her eyes as she knew I was leaving for another 12+ hours for work, me telling her I'd be back before she knew it, knowing it would be a long day for us both, and I thanked God for her in those moments. She faithfully tagged along, without question or fear, promising to protect me, as I purchased my very first home a year ago, making the best out of what very little yard I have for her to utilize (her first time without grass all around). And to this day, I call her onto my bed each morning in this home after my boyfriend leaves for work, and she slowly wakes from her crate, taking a couple tries to get her hips and legs to propel her onto my big bed, and I once again sing to her, and snuggle her, and talk to her about our day of not having to rush out the door for a day job anymore, and I thank God outloud for her in these moments. She is my rock, my companion, my constant, my all and my heart bursts when I look at her face each day wondering how I could ever live without her - a thought that has weighed heavy on me for days now.

10 Ways to Have a Better Morning (from a recovering morning-hater)

Photo Credit: Lovely Day Events Pittsburgh Photography
Makeup: Hope Star Makeup

Mornings suck - well the waking up part does - especially if you're headed to work, or somewhere you really don't want to go. We feel like there's not enough time in the day, we're never at home, we're always rushing somewhere, our bed is super comfy, and we really just don't wanna adult today. So we fight mornings tooth and nail and we generally sabotage our days before they've even begun. If you're wondering what I know about mornings, given that I work nights shifts as a bartender now, trust me - I have had my fair share of early wake ups and experience in this category. Before 2015, I spent 6 years waking up at 4:30am to leave my house by 5:30 to drive an hour to my job. And when I got really dedicated, I began waking at 3:30am to workout before having to get ready at 4:30am for work. So, I have some experience in the morning routine, and I have some things I put into practice to make every morning a little bit better.

4 Winter Mimosa Recipes for Brunch This Weekend

Photo Credit: Lovely Day Pittsburgh Photography

Brunch is literally my favorite meal ever. I love waking up slow on the weekend and eating something awesome that I'd never have time for, or bother putting effort into, on the weekdays. Hello chicken and waffles! Pancakes! Breakfast Quesadillas! You get the point. Brunch is the perfect chance to set the pace of the weekend - chill and fun. You can brunch alone, brunch with your kids, brunch with your boyfriend, or brunch with friends. The options are endless, just like I like my mimosas. And speaking of.....why not spice up the brunch staple with a new recipe this weekend?

Mimosas are easy, in my opinion because you don't have to exactly measure everything - just eyeball the glass and work with that. I don't bother measuring too much because it doesn't seem necessary and I have waffles to eat - I can't be slowed down. I err on the side of 1/3 of the glass filled with champagne, 2/3 OJ and a splash of cherry juice, if I'm making a regular mimosa. I like to keep my recipes for any mimosa as simple as the standard. Tailor the recipe to your liking - and don't stress about the exact measurements, it's brunch after all. If you want more champagne, then add more champagne. It's the weekend - anything goes. Check out the recipes below and mix up your brunch this weekend.

How to Feel Loved When You Are Alone

Photo Credit: Lovely Day Pittsburgh
Makeup: Hope Star Makeup

People are alone for many reasons. People are single because of a break-up, a death, a divorce, or simply because they have chosen to be alone for the time being. Some people are celebrating their single-dom and some people are wallowing, while others are kind of indifferent. Often times though, when you're newly single, for whatever reason - it can feel like the entire world is partnered up and you are at home watching Gilmore Girls, talking to your dog, and eating take-out in the same sweat pants you've worn for 3 days (not that I'm um, talking from experience or anything). Some days being alone is awesome - hello to not sharing the covers, eating whatever you want, doing whatever you want, listening to whatever you want, not putting away your laundry immediately, etc - but sometimes it's just plain overwhelming. Some days it feels like your someone doesn't exist and all you really want is your someone - someone to tell your day to that isn't your Mom or you dog, someone to cry to when you don't want to be strong, someone to cook when you're too tired, someone to steal the covers, someone to make you laugh, someone to sit across the table from, someone to tell you that you are loved.  What do you do though, with that time in between, when your person hasn't arrived and you're sick of wallowing, tired of waiting?